Send In The Clown(s)!

So, it’s been back to the classroom for me again, as of last Thursday. My paperwork (well, for one district) came through on Wednesday and I immediately started to pick up subbing jobs. My first one was at the secondary level, in art (and it was an amazing day) and the past three days I’ve been in a fourth-grade classroom. I don’t have an assignment as of right now for tomorrow (I think I screwed something up in the online system this evening that shows me as “unavailable” for Wednesday, so I’ll call in early in the morning to get an assignment). My lunch is packed, as is a gym bag, so I’ll be up at 5:30 a.m. and showering, so I can call in early in the morning for work.

As mentioned above, art on Thursday was a dream. The teacher has a creative set of classes (in a larger department of multiple instructors) and it was a pleasure to work with kids who were taking classes out of sheer love of the subject matter, versus having to be there. If we had electives like this, I might well have taken more fine art (versus music) classes in high school, but my tiny district could not support that much diversity in an elective area.

The past three days have been an experience, as I had a room of 19 fourth graders (so about 9 or 10 years old) in a self-contained classroom. That means the same teacher has these same students all day long, for every subject (well, they have what they call “specials” for 50 minutes each day, an that rotates across things like PE, art, music, etc.). It was an event, for sure, to have them all day long and for me to be constantly changing gears and covering a wide range of topics…..and remembering to not rush through it, as they’re just 9 years old! Well, Day 1 went fairly well–I’m sure they were louder than I should have let them be, but it was alright. Monday, however, was another story…..

One of the students wasn’t sure he could handle being with a sub all day (I met with the teacher on Thursday after my HS assignment–they elementary school was nearby and let out about an hour after the HS). Well, despite Friday going well, Monday was a different story. School starts about 8:30, and before 9 a.m. there he was….beating himself in the groin with a fist and announcing “I’m wearing a cup today”. Talk amongst yourselves about what’s wrong with that scenario—-and it should be easy to find four or five things, immediately. So, an hour later, when they went to PE, I foisted this one off on the coach…..recanting the story above and asking him to address it, since cups are…..well, PE equipment. He did, and the child came back with a small, pink paper sack holding….something..that was to be put in a backpack immediately. He was a disruption the remainder of the day, so he wasn’t with me today. And the room was much more settled, from the onset of the day and until the end.

So, for now, the subbing thing (as well as Fountain City Fibers is paying the bills. And I will continue to look for mroe substantive employment while working as a sub and dyeing yarn. It seems like the right thing to do right now…..which fits into something else I’ll be sharing in the next post or two…..stay tuned! And thanks for stopping by……and for commenting……and for being there!

Oh, and the clown….that’s me……send me in! (but sometimes it could be the student….just sayin’…..)

Two Years Later………..

Two years ago today, Friday, September 11, 2009, I regained control of my life and implemented many changes that have reshaped who I am and who I want to be. It is interesting to go back and read the posts from then, as I was (and AM) so excited about exacting change in my life! Further, it’s good to be able to have strong visual reminders of where I was

(I’m in the video from about 0:30 to 0:45…..and this was January 2007, so I got even bigger over the next two years……SCARY!). To where I am now….

which was taken about ten days ago……to the broad, smiling face I snapped just yesterday afternoon

after the gym (for the fifth time this week, and every week). I came home and did a little sculpting on my facial hair. I’ve had the idea that I’ve wanted to change from the wide goatee I’ve sported for over a decade down to just a handlebar-type moustache/goatee thing. It’s fun, it’s different, it’s a change of pace…..and to me, it’s kinda hot. Friends, however, are mixed in their reviews. And yeah, that’s a pretty big smile on my face. I was heading out to have dinner with my ex, Chris, and was looking forward to some good food and great conversation with a close friend. A two-hour meal at Ghengis Khan (a Mongolian barbecue place we’ve tried to go to several times since I moved here in May) was peppered with laughter and concern and excellent advice (both directions). I treasure our time together, and we’ve been off our “once-a-week” schedule for about a month of late. He’s a special part of my life, and someone for whom I’d do anything…..any time.

After that it was an evening out with friends, hanging at Sidekicks (our country bar, where you can actually go and two-step with another man….or a woman if you prefer) and laughing and enjoying the company there. After a few hours there, I hopped over to another bar but it was kinda boring there, so I headed home at a reasonable hour and enjoyed a little peace and quiet in an empty house (my other roommate was still out and about). After sleeping in LATE today (I didn’t get up until 11 a.m.), I’ve been lazy and relaxing. There were plans for a (bonus) trip to the gym today with a friend, but he re-turned his ankle last night and has it elevated–and honestly, I could use the day off for rebuilding. I want to go out and run a few errands here shortly, but first I wanted to get some thoughts up here as a part of my promise to update here more regularly.

So, a quick overview (with further details in upcoming posts) and a quick catch-up for you. I’ve re-discovered my love of making music, in the form of having performed with some long-time college friends in our Marching Mizzou Alumni Band at a recent Mizzou Alumni Association Scholarship Fundraiser.

I hadn’t touched a baritone horn in like…20 or more years…and it showed. I made some pretty horrid sounds (I apologized to the alto sax section repeatedly), but eventually it came back and I felt somewhat competent. We enteretained the crowd, we had FUN, I got to see some friends my from college days I hadn’t seen in years, and we raised money for a good cause. And I now want to head back to campus for homecoming and perform on the field with the group.

Years ago, when I lived in Atlanta (post Chris and pre Matt) I got involved with SEGRA (Southeastern Gay Rodeo Association), which is now no longer. We put on a rodeo called “Southern Spurs” that year, which was a TON of fun but more importantly I met some amazing people, some of whom remain friends of mine to this day. I moved from Atlanta before I could get too involved, which was a shame. There was a similar group in Michigan that I almost joined, but time and life got in the way–yet again. So this summer, when I moved to KC, I immediately joined our local group, MGRA, and have worked on making friends and getting involved.

We had our annual rodeo last weekend, and I worked in the arena, assisting with a wide variety of events. More important, I made some AMAZING new friends (local and across the US) that will be important people to me from here forward. We all speak of how IGRA folks are a family, and it’s very evident when we gather for an event. Unfortunately, the season is winding down and our finals rodeo is next month, in Ft. Worth. Of course, I’m attending, with some amazing friends I made up here right after moving to KC (oddly, they’re from Arkansas) and I’m sure we’ll have a really good time and I’ll get to meet some new folks, too. I doubt I’ll make the convention in November in San Diego, but one never knows…….

And for those of you shocked by the last paragraph, keep reading. Next year (starting in February) I plan to compete in a variety of events. I will spend the fall and winter training/practicing and hit the ground running with the first rodeo in Arizona next year.

That’s probably enough shock for one post……and I’ll share some yarny goodness next time (well, here’s a link to the recent dye run I did last week….GORGEOUS stuff….BUY IT!!! I’m broke with bills!).

Wow, Really? REALLY?

Have I really neglected this blog so much that it’s been close to two months since I posted and even worse before that?

Sunday marks two years since I took the reins of my life and started making the changes I wanted to see in myself–inside and out. Interestingly, that date was Friday, September 11th, 2009. And now, two years later, our entire country is focused on marking ten years since the attacks on our nation, and rightly so. Media run pieces about rebuilding, moving on, and how things have changed in the landscape of our country, and I see so many parallels in my regular day-to-day existence (not to trivialize the events of that day in any way).

There’s so much to share with you that I feel overwhelmed on where to start, but I’ll just dive in with my next post and get started. I’m thinner, I’ve been building (good) body mass, I’ve found a couple new activities that I am going after whole hog (one’s not really NEW to me, but since it’s been over a decade……we’ll call it new), and there’s a number of other significant and important events to cover as well.

Thanks for sticking with me, look for posts resuming NOW…..and of course, I sure hope to be inspirational and motivational and more……starting NOW.

Quick Update, Happy News

So, visited with my trainer at the gym today and we took measurements after five weeks of hard work. GREAT results. Down 10.6 pounds. Neck down 1/2″. Chest up 1″–and it wasn’t just up an inch, but down a bunch of fat and up a good bit of muscle (no more “bitch tits” as I’ve heard them called; I have burgeoning pecs!!). Waist down 2.5 inches, hips down over 3 inches, and thighs down 2 inches. Best of all, body fat down 3.8 percent, and lean body mass up over four pounds (so that means I lost about 15 pounds of fat..WOW). SO motivational!

By Your Command

A few private notes asked for a status/update picture after last night’s post. The freshest photo I have is this one, from June 24th. I like to take photos (documenting progress) about every three weeks, so it’s about that time. I want some help this time around, as I take pretty crappy self portraits, but we’ll see what happens.

In the mean time….he’s that photo from June 24th, and there’s been quite a bit of change since then, in my opinion.

I get measured at the gym tomorrow, prior to my personal training session, so I should have new measurements that will document the progress/change that I’ve achieved in the past 4-6 weeks. I can’t wait, as I know there will be progress. YIPEE!

I hope to be able to post again tonight, covering some of the personal or professional activities that have been going on since landing here in KC. Stay tuned!

Where To Begin…….

So, the life stuff…….let’s catch up, probably over the next several posts……where to begin….

I got up here Memorial Weekend in late May and that Monday joined 24 Hour Fitness. I can use all but one of the clubs up here, and I’ve taken full advantage of the club, it’s amazing equipment, the staff, and more. I haven’t used the wet areas yet because I don’t have trunks that fit (the ones I had in Michigan are hideously large and long gone), but it’s nice having all of the different weight-lifting options available. I TRULY appreciated the months at Top Dog, as they brought about significant change while I lived at home, but this new place has really helped me break through some plateaus and start a new set of goals.

I’m still going five times a week, but I’ve also added a personal trainer to two of those sessions. We started this almost immediately after I joined, and we totally revamped my nutrition and shook up my weight routine as well. Regarding nutrition, my trainer was pleased with the weight lifting routine I was following, but he immediately outlined why I wasn’t seeing the muscle growth/development that I should have been getting. Plain a-nd simple, I wasn’t eating enough protein to build lean muscle mass, so I started using nutritional supplements (protein drinks) a couple times a day and closely counting every gram of protein I was ingesting. To support muscle growth, he recommended eating 200g of protein on days I work out, and 150g on non-training days–both of which are not easy to do with regular diet. And the shakes, they’re not that bad.

Based on Dhruv’s advice (that’s my trainer’s name), I’ve gone from doing a three-day rotation on body parts to five days, each with a different body part, but more intense training on each part. And, as mentioned above, he cut me back on the amount of cardio I’m doing (from 80-90 minutes of it down to about an hour…10 minutes to warm up and another 45 minutes to finish up). I like the switch, and it feels great to get in there and use more dumbells and free weights and similar machines (not just the typical machines, but specialty ones that use free weight plates).

And in terms of results, yes…….I can already see some serious changes in my arms, and my “bitch tits” are all but gone and are being replaced with pecs. Real, live pecs. My legs, due to my life-long weight struggles, are plenty big and just needed some toning, so my big goal was to change my torso and arms, and that plan is working. And it’s not just my own perspective…I’ve had several comments on the changes from a variety of people. And that makes me happy!!! And while the scale isn’t dropping that quickly any longer (the muscle is offsetting fat loss on the scale, for the most part), I know that I’m thinner because I’ve gone down yet another jean size (about three weeks after getting here) and I feel that those jeans are getting a little looser now as well. And best of all, those jeans…….are eleven sizes smaller than I was at the onset of this journey (September 2009). And they are now 38 waist–I’ve not been under a 40 in over 20 years, maybe longer. I had a goal, initially, of hitting a 40……and now I’ve surpassed that! And I feel like I still have another 30ish pounds to lose (or rearrange, it appears), so I should continue to slim down….possibly into 36 or 34 waist, which is territory I’ve not seen since the mid/late 1980s. Holy crap!

OK–it is getting late….and I’m almost NEVER up this late any longer. I’ll explain why in the next post, which will cover some of the fun and interesting developments on a more personal/social level. And then I see another post about work and business ideas and the like. So there’s at least two more posts germinating here………..

Yes, I’m Alive!

Thanks for the nudge, Brenda. Alive, well, a few changes in my life (yes, I’ll cover them shortly), and a new version of a creative venture has taken on a new life….

Fountain City Fibers is now up and running, on rather new legs.

Lots more to come, but for now–I am dyeing yarn again! And marketing it via the Fountain City blog in that link above (with a “real” website to follow), along with a Twitter group (fountaincityfib) and a Facebook group (Fountain City Fibers).

I chose the name because Kansas City is known as a city of fountains–we have more fountains here than any other city in the world except Rome (Italy). I wanted it to be distinctly Kansas City and each type of yarn will be named for a landmark or area or similar spot in the city.

More details shortly, but…..I wanted Brenda to know…..I’m not quite dead yet!

One Week In

And there’s sooooooooooo much to talk about, but no time (TODAY) to cover it. Promise to get to it tomorrow…..but in the mean time, here’s a candid photo snapped this morning

of me out in the lower gardens, where I was pruning tomato plants (there are tons of amazing heirloom varieties here!) and transplanting lemon cucumbers (a new one for me). I had planted a packet of seeds on MONDAY and by Friday afternoon they were up and ready to be moved. PROLIFIC.

I’ve probably found another part-time (to hopefully full-time) position working for a major firm downtown. It’s very much entry-level work, but hey–it’s work! There’s lots of other great stuff going on around here–I’ve been out on two dates (nothing spectacular to report…trust me) and I’ve joined a new gym and done some major rework to my “program”. But that’s all for next time…..

Happy Saturday, and be sure to enjoy the weather. It’s hot and sticky here, but that’s summer in Missouri, right??

Still Alive, VERY Well….Thanks!

Sorry for the long gap in communication–consider it my own “Nixon Tapes”. Deal?

Sooooooo much going on over the past month…..copious amounts of substitute teaching, considerable number of applications filled out and mailed, and lots to do around Mom’s place. Plus intermittantly knitting here and there, and a five-day trip to KC last weekend, in support of a good friend who was having a really rough spot in his personal life and needed some emotional and physical shoring up.

And now for the fun news! In the morning (Saturday, 5/28) I will pack my car full of essential belongings and point it northward towards the KC Metro area for the summer! I’ve found one part-time position and I’m looking for a full-time gig or a couple more part-time things to sustain me over the non-school months. So far, I’ll be “farmhand” at a small nursery and produce farm, helping with the physical labor and also the direct-to-public sales that are part of their operation. It is going to be an interesting proposition, as I also have a few other creative ideas for marketing for them, along with a few of my own products that I’ll want to create and sell at the farm stand. That whole country-boy thing comes in handy, eh?

Weight loss/fitness quest continues with great success. I’m down more and more and more each week, and I can see greater enhancements/changes in my physical self as well. While in KC last weekend, I (of course) met up with my first partner, Chris, and we had a great meal at one of my favorite KC haunts–Arthur Bryant’s BBQ (the original, on 17th & Brooklyn). When he answered the door when I came to his house, he almost dropped dead…..he was amazed at how I’m looking these days (down four more pounds since then, too!) and admitted that I’m definitely thinner/better shape than when we left KC for me to go back to grad school in Columbia (that was 1991) and might actually be about where I was when we met (in 1988…when I was 24?????). That’s some pretty amazing testimonial right there. WOW. And he knows, as he’s known me for over 23 years now. And given the additional weight I’m pushing these days, the muscle mass is building…and I like it!

For some odd reason, I seem to have crossed over the “watershed weight” and have started to attract quite a bit of attention from gentleman callers. It’s kinda annoying, as only recently have men really started to pay attention to me, now that I’m thinner and seem to have passed “that weight” where they are more receptive to approaching me. I guess I understand, as being way silly overweight isn’t attractive, but it’s just odd to SUDDENLY be garnering attention. There’s on particular suitor that really has my attention of late, and I look forward to connecting with him almost immediately after getting to KC this weekend (yeah, imagine that–I found a local boy!). I’m not going to say much just yet, as things are way WAY at the starting point. But suffice to say the conversations are great, the mutual interests are there, and the spark may just be happening. Deets for you (not ALL of them) as soon as I know more, but I do know he’s quite the looker, a sweet sweet man, and terribly fun. And he has his sites set on updating my wardrobe…..cuz I’m dressing…..not great. And I think it could use a little infusion of style.

So, it’s been a tense evening of talking with Mom regarding my leaving in the morning. She and I started to discuss it last week, when I got back from KC (because subbing was drawing to a close, rapidly) and I need to have a source of income, for certain. She didn’t like it then, and she’s been rather……uncomfortable….when I told her tonight that I needed to leave for KC in the morning and start work first thing on Sunday morning. I only found out yesterday, so it’s not like I”ve been holding out on her and didn’t give her notice (I didn’t have notice!). So while it’s exciting for me, it’s also difficult for both of us, as it’s been great to be around here and help out as much as I can with her needs in the house and around the resort. I understand her surprise, and her disappointment in me not being here until July/August when the teaching thing kicks into gear, but I also have to go earn some $$$ and live my life a little….and that’s not going to happen down here.

Speaking of the teaching gig, I’ve applied for a ton of secondary (HS) positions and all of the very few university positions that came open. One of the university opportunities is actually TWO different positions at the same institution, so I’m really looking forward to hearing more, as they e-mailed and said that I made the first screening, and the next cull will tell them who comes to campus for interviews. YAY! A real, live university position, and best of all–both are great opportunities and one is EXACTLY what I’d love to do with my professional life. (sadly, it’s not in KC, so I’ve joked with Mr. Suitor “so, how do you feel about the DEEP South”, to his…..silence).

And for Brenda and other readers…..we’re about a 3.5-hour drive from Joplin, so we escaped that whole sad situation completely. That same cell/storm, however, passed right over here two/three hours later, but it had significantly weakened by that time. We’ve been very fortunate that the only rough weather we’ve had has been WAY TOO DAMN MUCH RAIN. The lake has gone up over 45 feet (in DEPTH) since early Spring, and that’s just ridiculous (and makes for wicked maintenance on the boat dock) and really damages the tourism business down here. Sad….very sad.

Be well, thanks for continuing to stop by, and now that school is over I hope to have more time to post. And dont’ fret–I’m joining a major chain of work-out sites, with one about four blocks from where I’ll be living. I will NOT stop eating right and improving my physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual self. YAY!

For those interested/asking about photographic proof of the recent changes, here’s me on May 4th

wearing one of my favorite new shirts. And here’s one from May 13th, snapped at the gym of course

I found some photos of me from March/April 2010 (about six months into my weight loss journey, and about a month after joining the gym in Lansing) and the difference in my (naked) physical self is just shocking to me. I’m fortunate to be able to execute these plans…to date I’m down 158 pounds (holy shit, I’ve lost a Backstreet Boy!…..goodbye, Howie!), with a goal of another 30-40, maybe 50 more. I will be about HALF the size I was when I started this whole process on Friday, September 11, 2009. And it has all been done through sheer will power and determination–no surgeries, crazy diets (I still eat too many Hershey’s Kisses….), or other nonsense. Just the “old fashioned” way–eating better, drinking water, and exercising. It can be done–you can do it too!

Her Own Personal Barbie Doll

So, for the first time in 20-25 years (pathetic, I know) I was able to be here, in person, to share Mother’s Day with my Mom. How awesome is that? (that I was here, not the 25-year lapse in presence). That fact was NOT lost on me, and I shared it with Mom yesterday, and she got a little wet in the eye sockets (me as well).

Seriously–it’s not just that I haven’t been in Ozark County for ten years, prior to November 2010. It’s that my career (pre-retail….) was in teaching, and my positions were typically at a distance (even when I taught high school in Kansas City, that’s five hours away and a haul for a weekend) and this holiday falls right at the end of a semester (when you’re teaching post-secondary classes). And of course, in between I was always a student, so this weekend is usually the kick-off for finals week (at Mizzou, anyway). So my physical presence has not always been possible, until this year.

I also have a rather nasty habit–I am thoughtful enough that I remember to purchase greeting cards, but I’m notorious for getting them there a day or two AFTER the event. Especially Sunday-based events (or Mom’s birthday, which is July 4th…a no-mail holiday). So last night, after all was said and done and we were back home (details below), I withheld her card until 11:52 p.m., came out and gave it to her, joking that I nearly waited until Monday, just to not break my well-established pattern. We laughed, she liked the card, and it was a great cap to a wonderful day.

It all started out with a stealth reservation (that went from two to three when Dad was invited, to five when Mom’s bestie and her husband were invited) at 11 a.m. for brunch at Cookie’s, a local restaurant that Mom just loves to patronize. They have a pretty nice buffet for special days, and yesterday was no different–carved roast beef, turkey, fried chicken, multiple sides/casseroles, salad bar, peach and cherry cobbler–a glutton’s delight. Dad didn’t eat breakfast in anticipation (always the value shopper) and we had a very pleasant meal, and photos were taken

of the eating party, and of my great family

and of my folks, with a much better background

which I think is a pretty spectacular photo of them. Not too shabby for 71 and 74, and having had more than their share of health-related issues in the past few years. It was obviously a golden day out, so we went over to Dad’s for a little bit and hung out on his deck

and they did exactly what I expected of them, after a huge meal (I, on the other hand, did NOT make a pig of myself and ate sensibly, including just a couple spoonfuls of cobbler…enough to be sated, without denial or discomfort). I gotta say, it was perfect weather and we were out there until early afternoon, until I herded Mom into the car for a surprise drive.

I wanted to ask Dad along, but I knew he wouldn’t go AND I kinda wanted to have the day just for Mom and myself, so after we left him, I headed out and told her “we’re going to Springfield and you’re going shopping” since she’s been making noise about going to Penney’s (in West Plains, but Springfield is a bigger store, in a HUGE mall). So 90 minutes later, we were at Battlefield Mall, I dropped her at Penney’s and I snuck off to PFI (a HUGE western outfitter just a few blocks east of the mall) and FINALLY found what I’ve been on the hunt for

and I gotta say, I’m quite pleased with how it looks. The salesman is an expert at steaming/shaping it just the way you want (and for what suits you) and I like what Mike did on this one. He took out the more exaggerated “up” on the front brim (while Jason Aldean is cute as hell, I don’t care for his hat style on my head). I will debut said hat sometime in the coming weeks, as I need to get away for a few days and it will definitely come with me–maybe at Sidekicks in KC, maybe at Maverick in Tulsa, or maybe at the OKC rodeo over the holiday weekend coming up.

So I head back to Penney’s, get a couple skin care products I was on the hunt for

and set off to find Mom somewhere in Penney’s. We connected again in the Men’s department, where she was already pre-shopping for me (thus the title of this post) and we had some fun digging through sale items, looking at a few other garments, and playing dress up. Between the two of us (she had a coupon, I wanted a couple new shirts, and all were about half off again), I ended up with a nice collection of new things

Including a BRIGHT lime green solid (my choice) and a purple solid (Mom’s selection), a fun plaid shirt (my favorite color is plaid!)—all on sale. The blue stripe on the bottom was just $5 at Wal-Mart (a later stop), so we couldn’t pass it up. And it’s a LARGE, and fits perfectly. I can’t wait to wear the lime one—probably tomorrow, when I’m subbing. The receipt said we spent $37 (including tax) but saved $45, so I can’t complain at all.

We finally headed home about the time they shut the place down (Mom picked up two new funky and fun purses—one was tagged $89 and re-priced at $27; the other very similarly marked down) and added to her burgeoning collection (not quite “intervention” level, but getting there…..). We had a blast and headed back south towards home, stopping at a QuikTrip just outside of Springfield (my little addiction—I have refillable quart cups and she wanted one, too). I wanted to stop at the Wal-Mart in Ozark, but I missed the exit and we decided to hit the one in Branson (that’s where you turn east to head home) and continued driving.

Once we got to Branson, we found the (brand new) Wal-Mart just north of town and pulled off. Right next door is one of her other FAVORITE places for retail therapy—Kohl’s. While I’ve lived near them for years, I had never stepped inside of one (Mom’s purchased things for me there, but I wasn’t able to wear them until recently). So inside Kohl’s we went…cuz they were open until 9 on Sundays.

Wandering around the store and looking at the various displays in the men’s area, a very specific feeling of satisfaction came over me. While I am NOWHERE near where I want to be, physically (I still have 30-50 pounds more to lose in my estimation, plus lots and lots of reconstruction to accomplish at the gym and possibly elsewhere….), it’s very gratifying to be able to shop in “normal stores” and try on and purchase “attractive” clothes. I was wandering the displays, looking at things from various recognizable brands (Chaps, Levi’s, etc.) and I became very quiet, very quickly. Mom asked what was up, and I shared with her…..”do you realize how nice it is to be able to pay regular prices, shop in a nice store, and actually have a pleasant variety of colors and styles as possibilities?”. This made her eyes start to well up, as she has been on me for DECADES about my weight, and despite knowing that I had to do it when I was ready and no sooner, she is very much sharing in my happiness regarding the changes I’m exacting in my physical self.

So she takes out across the sales floor, goes on the hunt for things to show me, and we start the entire “dress up” routine again. For YEARS I have avoided shopping for clothing—it was painful to acknowledge what sizes I needed, and the choices were so….awful…in terms of colors and styles. So to have FUN clothes to wear (and for her and I to try out and talk about) is a new adventure for both of us. I’ve told her (forever now) not to shop for clothes for me—mostly to avoid the discussion of sizing, but also because I have very particular/peculiar tastes….and didn’t like most of what comes from the “fat man’s department” in most stores. So for her to have fun picking things out, for me to participate, and for both of us to actually ENJOY an afternoon of shopping….PRICELESS. I tried on several things, loved how they looked, but then was logical in terms of “how long will I get to wear them, given the constant decline in my weight/size” and put most of them back. I’m not buying much in terms of pants (and shorts) right now, as most are only good for 2-4 weeks—I’m STILL dropping weight that quickly, even at this stage of the process. So why invest in multiple options at a size that will be too large in a month from now? Waste of money…. So we buy shirts, as my shirt size will stay the same (you can’t make this frame much smaller….and I’m down to bones and muscle up top, with the work targeting the gut and hips area from here forward). And we have fun with that—and in looking at various pants and slacks and thinking about how I will look when I stabilize in a few months from now.

Mom did sneak in some of her own shopping while we were there, as it is also fun for me to be her sounding board on many things (I’ve gotten her addicted to “What Not To Wear” and she values my opinion on things, knowing that I’ve sorta followed some clothing trends over the past several years, given what I used to do). She also has some fun while she shops

cracking jokes about how she would have worn these thirty years ago, but not now. When she was goofin’ around with the shoe, I whipped out my phone to snap the photo and she literally RAN down the aisle to get away from me (those new knees serve her well), but I convinced her to pose with the shoe and have a little fun—and the photo INSTANTLY went up to my Facebook page. They are fun, but not at 71 years old. She did show me around the rest of the store, and when I re-establish a household this fall, I can’t wait to find the nearest Kohl’s and see if things will fit with my new place and décor and taste. I saw some amazing dishes there (my current set is from 1996, and while serviceable, not the best option), along with some fun kitchen items and linens that I wouldn’t mind having. And the prices weren’t bad, either. GOOD PLACE!

Mom and I then went to Wal-Mart (I needed some yarn for a special request, so where better to get basic cotton than there?) and we wandered around for a bit, as she had her second wind now (maybe it was the full quart of Diet Coke kicking in???) and we had fun in the men’s area again—looking at fugly clothes and a few decent things (see the blue shirt, above, for $5). I tried on some jeans in a smaller size (but they had a weird crotch thing going on, so I passed) and we then hit the food area for a couple staples and then headed homeward. Darkness came while we were inside (surprisingly, it was after 8:30 p.m.) and we had a great talk on the east-bound portion of our trip, snacking on some potato chips I bought (that she claimed she didn’t want, yet was tearing at the bag with her teeth like a badger to get at them once we were on the highway). We laughed, we talked, we enjoyed each other’s company, and we later had to call Dad to see if he was still up, as the quart of soda had worked its way through her and was painful at this point. We stopped by for a quick rest stop, said our good nights to him, and then got home LATE (after 11 p.m.) having spent over 12 hours together eating and laughing and shopping and goofing around and having fun. Now **THAT** was the perfect Mother’s Day—for both of us!


Dad gifted me with a new ball cap (since he’s so surprised I like wearing them so much) and I’m sure I’ll have some fun with it next time I head to KC or some other larger city and go out amongst “my tribe”


While it is a little true (and getting more and more accurate, possibly), the hat is a perfect fit and that right combination of truth and humor that I like a lot.

So there you have it—the perfect day with a great lady and some other great folks. And something that I’ve not been able to enjoy in over two decades—that made me regret being so far away for so long. Far away both physically and emotionally–and mostly at my own doing, on purpose. Thank goodness for second chances, eh? I’m a very fortunate man!!! Now go hug your Momma–or at least give her a call! Or say hi, from a distance down here on earth.